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03.31.10

Microsoft Acquires Novell

Posted in Deals, Humour, Microsoft, Novell at 6:04 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

“Microsoft and its employees now think it is indeed the Master of the Universe.”

Stewart Alsop, Fortune

WALTHAM, Mass., April 1 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ — Novell, Inc. (Nasdaq: NOVL) today announced that Microsoft had agreed to acquire Ximian, along with its owner which possesses UNIX, one of Microsoft’s most formidable competitors.

Microsoft and Novell choose to keep the details of their deal secret but are delighted to assure customers that it is absolutely good news to them all.

About Novell

Novell, Inc. (Nasdaq: NOVL) delivers a Microsoft-taxed Linux platform and a portfolio of integrated software patents designed to help customers around the world increase cost, complexity and risk.

About Microsoft

Founded in 1975, Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT) is the worldwide leader in racketeering, extortion services and collusions that help people and businesses realize their full potential.

“It’s possible, you can never know, that the universe exists only for me. If so, it’s going quite well I must admit.”

Bill Gates

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3 Comments

  1. Nate said,

    March 31, 2010 at 7:51 pm

    Gravatar

    It’s still March 31st in my time zone. Tomorrow morning, my boss will discover that all 200 of our Web sites are “snowing.” Don’t worry, that will be on his computer, only.

  2. Danielh said,

    April 1, 2010 at 2:21 am

    Gravatar

    Somehow i would have thought it would have been siphoned through a mole company, something with “Ventures” in it. Guess i was wrong ;D

    Dr. Roy Schestowitz Reply:

    More likely something with “LLP”.

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